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Water, Water, Everywhere... is a single-issue story featured in the nineteenth issue of Dynamite Entertainment's second ongoing Army of Darkness series. Released in April of 2009, it was written by Mike Raicht and featured artwork by Pablo Marcos.

Synopsis

Following the Deadite outbreak at Mountain Springs, Colorado, Ash Williams has made the startling discovery that some of the evil-infected water responsible for infecting that town was packaged up into plastic bottles and sent out to Middletown, West Virginia in the midst of the supernatural pandemic. In order to track down these packages, Ash gets a job at the warehouse where the bottled water was delivered, only to discover that the various tasks of an overnight maintenance man doesn't leave one much time to dig through thousands of crates.

Three weeks into his new career at the warehouse, Ash meets a red-headed woman named Georgia at a local bar. At first, Ash is reluctant to even approach her, knowing all too well what happens to people that get close to him, but after some coaxing from Georgia, they strike up a conversation that lasts well into the night. For the next week, Ash and Georgia meet up everyday and continue their talks, which eventually leads their relationship to the point where Ash moves into Georgia's house after several weeks.

One day, just as he arrives at the warehouse for his overnight shift, Ash learns that eleven of his menial labor brethren have mysteriously disappeared. Fearing that the "evil water" or the Necronomicon might be behind the missing men, Ash goes to the warehouse's "tech guy", who informs him that because of the incident at Mountain Springs, nobody wanted to order water from their facility, and that bottles from that particular plant are being held in the long-term storage building out back.

Gathering up the bottles from Mountain Springs, Ash pours their contents into a small concrete mixer nearby, and dumps a hefty bag of concrete power into the mixer's drum. Suddenly, a humanoid concrete monster leaps from the mixer, thanking Ash for freeing it from it's plastic prison. Ash picks up a sledgehammer as the monster approaches, telling it that it's a good thing he dumped quick drying cement in there. The creature begins to stiffen up as Ash takes a mighty swing with the mallet and knocks out it's legs. As it lays face-flat on the ground, Ash grabs a jackhammer and begins to pound the rock monster's head into dust.

Having finally completed his task, Ash returns to Georgia's house to get some rest, collapsing into bed upon his arrival. Ash awakens in the middle of the night and heads down to the kitchen to get a drink, only to see a giant red-skinned monster looming over a body in the hall. Ash snatches up his Boomstick hanging from a nearby shelf, but before he can get off a shot, the monster smacks the gun from his hands. He turns and looks towards the body on the ground, realizing that it's not Georgia, but rather some random guy with a mustache. The monster begins to shrink and transform into none other than Georgia herself, right in front of a bewildered Ash. At first, Ash worries that she inhaled some of that "Deadite dust" from his rock monster encounter earlier that night, or perhaps she touched that old book in the trunk of his car, but she explains to him that she's what they refer to as a Succubus, a creature that feeds on life essences through sex. Realizing that she's been using him as an energy sugar daddy, Ash becomes enraged, taking a shot at the rotting wooden floor with his Boomstick, sending Georgia into the cellar below. Georgia survives the fall, but was impaled by the blasted boards. As she cries for help, begging Ash to come down and save her, he gathers his belongings and drives off as the morning sun rises behind him, indicating that this day is a fresh start for The Chosen One...

Gallery

Virgin Cover

Trivia

  • When this story was originally published as a single issue in 2009, it was untitled. The name "Water, Water, Everywhere..." was only given to the story when it was reprinted in Dynamite's Army of Darkness Omnibus Volume 3 in 2013.
  • For reasons unknown, the cover for this issue (as well as Montezuma's Revenge) was not featured in The Art of Army of Darkness.

Continuity Notes

  • This story is a direct sequel to the events of Hellbillies And Deadnecks.
  • Ash's narration says that he didn't tell Georgia about Necronomicon or the time he died.
  • Mr. Jenkins mentions that Buck was Ash's supervisor at S-Mart, though the Shop 'Till You Drop Dead series depicted Buck as the head of the store's Hunting Supplies department.
  • Ash is seen driving a red sedan, as his "classic" Delta 88 Oldsmobile sank to the bottom of Crystal Lake at the end of the first Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash series.
  • Georgia jokingly mocks Ash for keeping a chainsaw close for "killer trees". Ash responds "sometimes." He had previously encountered killer trees in Ashes 2 Ashes and Tales of Army of Darkness.
  • After Georgia reveals that she is a Succubus, she implies that she has met other Chosen Ones before. This would later be elaborated on in the following storyline beginning in the series next issue: League of Light, Assemble!
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