Army of Darkness: Ash Gets Hitched is a four issue miniseries released by Dynamite Entertainment in 2014. Written by Steve Niles and featuring art by Nacho Tenorio, it is a sequel to the 2013 maxiseries Ash And The Army of Darkness.
Plot Synopsis[]
Some time has passed since the defeat of the second "Army of Darkness", and Ash Williams (along with the other subjects of Lord Arthur) have taken residence in the castle of Henry The Red. Lost within his own thoughts as he strolls through the courtyard, Ash states that ever since his accidental articulation of the name "Faceless Man" three times in a row, the Deadites can now survive in sunlight, making humanity's battle against the remaining monsters almost 24/7.
Stepping into one of the castle's large cylinder towers, Ash finds Arthur, Henry, Sheila, and The Wise Man getting ready to interrogate a captured winged Deadite. During the questioning, Ash writes down "The Faceless Man" on a small chalk board, and it is merely the sight of the name itself that makes the Deadite suddenly shriek in terror. It breaks free of the chain restrains, busting out of the tower and takes off into the sky in a state of panic.
Watching the winged-demon fly into the horizon, Ash asks The Wise Man what he knows about The Faceless Man. According to legend, the Faceless Man was the first to release the curse of the Deadites upon humanity, and other stories claim that it is his face that binds the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis. Feeling a strong sense of guilt for saying the demon's name, Ash tells his fiancée Sheila that tomorrow he'll head out to find the Faceless Man and put an end to him. Sheila agrees to ride with him, as does The Wise Man. Henry and Arthur state that they must remain at the castle, as they are awaiting reinforcements from allies across the seas.
On the sprawling fields outside the now abandoned Castle Kandar, two armies stand face-to-face, waiting for the word to attack. The two leaders of the respective troops come forward, asking to know who it is that challenges them. The first to identify himself is a man in Middle-Eastern garb, Husayn Abu Dawud, who has come at the request of Lord Arthur. A silver-haired and scar-faced warrior then states that he is Erik Thunder Axe, summoned by Henry The Red. Erik and Husayn shake hands, both having heard tales of the other's ferocity and strategical cunning. Their introduction is cut short when from the forest nearby rides a skeletal Deadite upon a horse with no flesh.
Both commanders are amazed at the sight of seeing a Deadite in the day. The skeleton comes with a message from "The King of The Deadites", who offers a challenge to the two armies to defeat him in combat. The two accept the challenge and draw their weapons. Slowly, a giant figure steps out from the woods, and Thunder Axe makes the first move. His hatchet delivers a bloody blow to the center of the creature's chest, but the giant doesn't even flinch. Before Erik himself can remove the axe from his foe, The Faceless Man squishes the barbarian's head between his large hands like a bug. Husayn and the soldiers of the two armies proceed to attack, but they are no match for the giant...
The following morning, Ash, Sheila, and The Wise Man begin their ride into the forest. Along the way, The Wise Man tells Ash that he is surprised that the man from the future decided to stay in the past for Sheila. Ash says that she is essentially the only reason for him staying. Sheila then cuts in, saying that there is another valid reason: it will no long just be the two of them in their new family. Ash is stunned by her implication, trying to process the revelation as they approach Castle Kandar. Suddenly, Sheila stops outside the castle, horrified at the sight before her. Ash and The Wise Man catch up, and perhaps since his first time dealing with the Deadites, Ash is truly disgusted and disturbed by what he's seeing. Hundreds of skinless bodies stacked several feet high line the trail leading to the castle's gate, and blood stains the once green field of grass. As the trio navigate the maze of corpses to enter the castle, Ash steps on the hand of one of the soldiers. The body's head suddenly looks up toward Ash, and the skinless army of the dead begins to rise around them.
The hoard is almost overwhelming, but with the combined forces of the Wise Man's magic and Ash's chainsaw, the three warriors manage to get into the castle's courtyard. Once inside, the Wise Man takes Ash to a hidden weapon, one which has been virtually untouched since his initial visit. Williams is delighted to see his Oldsmobile, and even more elated to discover that it's steam power conversion still fires up the engine. Before Ash can plow his way through the undead outside the castle's walls, both The Wise Man and Sheila are curious as to the origin of where the monstrosities came from. A simple plan is quickly devised: Sheila will throw a large grappling hook into the gathering mass of Deadites, and Ash uses his car to quickly pull them over the castle's wall.
Their scheme works, pulling two skinless creatures into the courtyard, and Ash jumps from his car and helps chain up the corpses before they can attack. The Wise Man pulls out a small pouch from the sleeve of his robe, pouring it's contents, a strange red powder, into the palm of his hand. He gently blows the crimson dust into the faces of the two captured Deadites, and for a moment, the pair regain their humanity. The two identify themselves as Husayn Abu Dawud and Erik Thunder Ake, and that their skins were taken by a devil from the woods wearing a hood of human flesh killed them and their armies. The trio realize that this was the work of The Faceless Man. Before departing, the skinless former leaders ask for death for both themselves and their men, rather than continue "living" and being tortured by the Deadite spirits inside them.
The Deathcoaster burst through the castle gate, mowing down any creature which stands in it's way. As Ash drives, The Wise Man and Sheila throw firebombs into the hoard of meat-men. Just before they can clear the Deadite army, the Olds finally gives up, forcing the three to jump to safety as the car is engulfed by the flames of the shambling burning corpses. Getting to their horses, the trio ride deeper into the Dark Forest until coming across the old windmill Ash visited during his first time in 1300 AD. Having a strange feeling as if there's some unfinished business that needed to be taken care of, Ash tells the others to wait outside as he goes in. Sheila and The Wise Man listen to distant muffled screams and the whir of the chainsaw, only to see Ash come out a bloody mess a short time later. Ash wipes the blood from his face as they approach the graveyard, discovering that a massive fence of flesh and been erected using the skins of Husayn and Erik's armies.
Carefully entering the cemetery, the trio discover dozens of Deadites, all cowering in fear upon hearing just the mention of The Faceless Man's name. Upon reaching the cursed altar which resides at the center of the graveyard, The Wise Man is shocked to see three Necronomicons (which Ash had encountered during his initial visit), believing he had banished the original copy some months ago. While trying to figure out where The Faceless Man's lair might be, Ash accidentally pushes against one of the stone slabs of the altar, revealing a hidden chamber underneath. Before any of them can begin a safe descent into the darkness, a giant hand grabs Ash and quickly pulls him inside. As Sheila prepares to go after her beloved, the Deadites realize that with The Chosen One below, The Faceless Man will be occupied, making it the perfect opportunity to attack the two humans.
In the depths of the pit, Ash is attacked by the giant fist, but quickly manages to slice it in half with his sword. Suddenly, Ash hears a whisper beside him, and soon looks upon the familiar voice's owner. It's his old girlfriend Linda, now a rotting corpse in a white nightgown. She lunges towards Ash, getting up close and personal as maggots begin to pour out of her eyes and mouth. Ash manages to kick her off of him, but as she goes to pounce on him again, a swift swipe from a sword sends her head rolling across the murky water.
Back in the graveyard above, Sheila and The Wise Man continue to battle Deadite after Deadite. With both growing tired from the fight, The Wise Man conjurers a magic shield, keeping them safe from the undead for now.
Though her head may be disconnected from her body, Linda continues to put up a fight, that is until Ash dismembers her limb from limb and slices her skull in half. With his ex-girlfriend taken care of, The Faceless Man finally appears, removing his hood of skin to reveal a ghastly rotten face of dried muscles underneath. The giant demon is relentless, beating Williams into a bloody mess. Following a surprise hit, the Faceless Man drops Ash, allowing The Promised One to grab his sword and begin swinging. Several swipes paint the walls with the monster's blood, but Ash's attack ends when the demon's hand bends and breaks the sword. Tossed around like a rag doll, Ash then finds his chainsaw in the ankle-deep waters around them, but The Faceless Man simply rips the saw from his stump and crumbles it in his hand. Williams then reaches for his Boomstick, but again the strength of the monster breaks the weapon like a toothpick.
Ash falls to his knees before the broken pieces of his signature weapons, The Faceless Man looming over him and gloating. The blood-covered human stands up, balling his one good hand into a fist and prepares to go down fighting like a man. While on the ground, Ash picks up a shotgun shell, jamming into The Faceless Man's last remaining eye. Before the demon can remove the tiny object with his large fingers, Ash grabs the handle of his broken sword, slamming the end into the shell's primer. The Faceless Man's head pops like blood-filled balloon, and Ash grins as the lifeless body hits the dirt.
The Wise Man's shield begins to fade, and both he and Sheila prepare to meet their end. Just as the force field disappears completely, Ash stands triumphant on the altar, the Necronomicon in his hand. The Deadites begin to retreat, and Ash kisses Sheila. The Wise Man asks what they should do with The Book of The Dead. Ash responds that they should just leave it here, and hope some idiot doesn't try reading from it again.
Time passes, and the wedding day of Ash and Sheila has finally arrived. In the time since, Lord Arthur and his subjects have returned to their home of Castle Kandar. The Wise Man serves as the minister of the ceremony, stating that while the two were brought together under horrific circumstances, they have risen above the evil which threatened them and found love. With that, he pronounces the couple as man and wife.
Following the ceremony, the reception party begins, and Ash is already several beers deep before Sheila warns him to slow down. Ash remarks that he's find, and can even remember The Wise Man's magic words: "Klaatu, Barada, Nickto!" Suddenly, a rift in time appears, and Ash is dragged away from his new wife and into the swirling blue vortex, tumbling and turning towards a destination unknown...
Alternate Cover Gallery[]
Notes[]
- In Issue #2, Ash, Sheila, and The Wise Man return to the windmill. Ash heads inside the windmill and Sheila and The Wise Man hear strange noises from inside. These noises are explained in Army of Darkness #1992.1 in the short story: Return To The Windmill.
Next In The Ash And The Army of Darkness Series[]
- Army of Darkness #1992.1: Prelude To Ash In Space